…or otherwise unflattering pictures! It’s like being baptized, really. Get all your ugliness out there and start anew! The glory of the upshot is that even a slender, healthy person can take a homely photo with a simple camera trick. Then, said slender person will be forever terrified of slipping into the horrors of dipping fries in mayo and living on the couch, and will continue livin’ it up, cucumber and hummus style.
I shall illustrate this facial trompe-l’oeil through a television parable. In an episode of The Golden Girls, the gals take turns looking down over a mirror to marvel at how much saggier it makes their faces look. Blanche, after following Dorothy’s lead: “My God, Dorothy, you’re right!” I oughta start meeting men lying down!” Sophia, quick on the retort: “I thought you did!” Golden Girls trivia: one reason kids should play outside in the summer instead of basking in the air conditioned house. What is the lesson? Certain environments and circumstances (florescent lights, tight muffin-top inducing pants… the list goes on) make you look ugly, and it can be scary, sad, hilarious or inspiring. Let’s choose inspiring.
ANYHOW, maybe you, like us, have stockpiles of photos or maybe you’re new to the up shot and need to bust out the camera and experiment! Either way, we want to see it. Mad props go out to an old college buddy, Mr. Andrew Fox(damn)well, for inspiring this friendly competition. He has already entered two strong candidates in the Up Shot category. FINALLY CUTTING TO THE CHASE: email your best and/or worst up shot and unflattering photos to firstname.lastname@example.org and we shall select the winners!
A splice of the magic, and example for us all.
Thanks, and good luck chinning.
p.s. Someone teach me how to use “trompe-loeil”. Thanks.
P.S. Someone please tell me what “trompe-loeil” means. I’m too lazy to Google right now.