Lips Like Cancer, Cancer Kisses

Refined sugar: a dentist’s nightmare and a dieter’s hellish temptation.

It’s true. I’m one of those girls. I am a diet pop drinking, sugar-free pudding popping, vanilla lite latte lovin Splenda slave. I can barely type that all out without feeling a little sad on the inside.

Every morning when I rip open another Splenda pack to dump in my old-fashioned oats, I think to myself, “Should I really throw this in the mix?” Yet I can’t resist. For some reason, I’d rather “save” the sugar calories and dump a packet of chemicals into a bowl of virgin oats.

Molly and I are quite different in this respect when it comes to our regular diets. For years, I have picked sugar-free or reduced sugar options at grocery stores, coffee shops, and beyond. I’m not crazed. But if the option is available, I usually take it. I know about the controversies related to artificial sweetners, and sometimes I think about long-term health effects like getting cancer or growing an extra arm out of the small of my back. I do enjoy stevia, as a zero calorie, natural sugar alternative, more than Splenda, for it doesn’t have that same creepy “death” aftertaste. I just haven’t made it to the grocery store lately to stock up. Instead, I take handfuls of Splenda packets from the dying Burger King downstairs.

Molly, on the other hand, is au natural. She prefers moderation as a means to watching sugar consumption (and believe me, I can pound down real sweets with the best of them) and sneers at anything fat-free and/or sugar-free. Quite frankly, some of her “no artificial additives” outlook has rubbed off on me.  Duh, I’d rather put natural things in my body than unnatural (aside from botox and tar).

Here are some natural alternatives to refined sugar (they may not be sugar-free, but at least they’re not chemicals): honey (personal fave), agave, maple syrup, maple sugar, and date sugar.  There are many refined sugar alternatives out there.  But I’m an ignorant fool, so the ones listed above are the ones I’ve heard the most chatter about.  Life is all about learning, right?  I should spend more time doing that…

Hearts & farts for now, friends. 

P.S.  Did I mention that one of the Wuollet Bakery owners stopped by with a 5+ pound box of brownies for me today?  FACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK.  I have resisted for six hours.  Thy will is strong.

P.P.S  Poll time!  See below.

6 thoughts on “Lips Like Cancer, Cancer Kisses

  1. Hollatcha glycemic index! That’s the real problem with refined sugars. But agave nectar(which I haven’t really tried) has a really low one. Honey not so much, compared with refined sugar, but it has other bennys. While I originally thought that Splenda/sucralose/whatever it is was a good alternative to nutrasweet, since it’s at least made from normal sugar, my friend pointed out to me that it’s made by treating sugar with chlorine, which is kinda creepy. I definitely take the combined approach: (try to) moderate refined sugar intake, but also go for the fake sugar in things that don’t matter, or that I don’t eat as much (diet pop, sugar free pudding– that stuff is way better than I expected!). I figure that the sucralose of one Coke Zero every 1.5-2 weeks is not going to kill me. I will say that sugar free jello is just missing something, though.

    Try using bananas or peaches canned in 100% juice (my newest discovery) to add sweetness and flavor (and extra viteemins) to your oatmeal. Or a blob of flavored yogurt (try Nancy’s honey flavored– so effing delicious).

    In case you haven’t figured out, I am your co-meltdowner of the west… but not keeping track of foods… My projects during last spring’s unemployment were: get in shape and use all my spare time to research healthy eating habits and attempt to adopt them. This year, now employed, I am at the end of week 5 of a 9 week program working up to running 5k at a time, and it’s going swimmingly… today I’m supposed to run for 20 minutes straight– something I don’t think I’ve ever done in my entire life. I can already tell my cardio endurance is better during my boot camp class (which you guys should totally check out if there’s one at your Y). being sore=hurts so good!!!

    1. CharDizz. You are a babeaholic inspiration to us all. Our very own cowgirl of the West (Sorry, Mag. You’re now a cowgirl of the Midwest).

      Your fruit idea sounds fantastic. I rock a fresh banana in oatmeal everytime I have a bowl for that extra sweetness. So many people are now adjusted to the overly sweet foods we consume in everyday life. It amazes me how many treats, chocolate, candy, hidden sugar in food, and pop people consume!

      I will send every good vibe I have your way for your 9-week program success. I wish the Meltdown were that long. Dang. And girl, I know all too well about running for 20 min straight. Last night on the treadmill at the YW, my heart rate rocketed to 192. Um, that’s not good. Oops. From now on, I plan on trotting on the treadmill.

      Keep on rockin’ on, Char! Miss you like crazy ❤

  2. Ellen – Do not deprive yourself…that’s what pushes people over the edge – deprivation. Just take a small bite to satisfy your curiosity about the deliciousness of the Wuollet’s brownie. Besides, you may find yourself disappointed – they may not be all that and a bag of chips. You will defeat the all-weekend-thinking-about-the-brownie monster and be able to move on to your next well-planned, health-conscious meal. My philosophy: chocolate cake only comes around so many times in a person’s life – enjoy in moderation!

    1. Mom! I beat you to it. In fact, I had a little shnib of the triple dark chocolate and the butter blonde 🙂 And you’re absolutely right, deprivation leads to bad news. Your philosophy sounds pseudo RichRoth. I like it.

  3. I never drank java until last year. My 86 year old mother thinks I am a loser because I won’t drink it black. She’s Swiss BUT even Swiss drink Milch Caaffee which is mostly cream. I started with 1/4 C. of cream and then added 3 T. or so of sugar but after speaking with my daughter who thought this was a bit much, I am now adding 1/4 C. of French Vanilla Coffee Mate and cutting back on only 1 Dove Dark Chocolate piece a day.

    1. Mrs. Matson! It looks like you’re making some big strides in the coffee realm! I also love a sweet coffee beverage every now and again. And unlike your daughter and Molly who both have mouths of steel and brawn, I cannot drink black coffee.

      Toot sweet!

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