The transformation from convex to concave has taken place! The only time in my life my stomach has been concave was last year after the Meltdown and through the summer… and we all know it popped back out over the winter. I remember very clearly the day I realized that bellies can be (and are probably supposed to be) concave in 1998. I was 12. I was at the movie theater viewing the highly anticipated (Ben Affleck bonerific) Armageddon. BAM! Here’s what I mean:
Yes, Liv Tyler showed me. And the animal crackers dancing around on her lovely movie star valley-of-a-tummy only accented the point. My strong affection for animal crackers likely functioned to make this such a vivid/mildly traumatic memory for me. Whatever it takes, I guess- I need a good coming of age scene for my memoir. Plus, I’d have been horrified for a fox like Ben Affleck to make animal crackers drown in my quicksand belly button. Way un-sexy. After the film, I remember asking my friends if their bellies looked like that, and their reply was something to the effect of “Well, yeah! How else would they look?” Not that I was that overweight, but I’ve just always had a little extra chub. Me, circa 1998, below:
Taken on a very special class trip to Colonial Williamsburg, VA. Also, I pioneered the vintage t-shirt with kooky sayings/pictures trend. No one was doing it back then. Pretty big deal.
Well, Liv Tyler, I’m happy to rejoin your club. Too bad Armageddon was so scientifically improbable, or I would’ve enjoyed it. I might’ve even cried like all my friends did. They thought me heartless, and probably fat too.