Top 5 Worst Desserts According to Ellen (Who is Almost Always Right)

I’d rather eat mouse turds than the following desserts:

5.  French Silk Pie

I know a lot of bridges are burning because of this bold statement, but I cannot let this one go unnoticed.  Now, French silk pie used to be the only pie I’d eat.  However, once my taste buds matured and I got over myself, I quickly realized that French silk is a poor excuse for a pie.  It’s the pubescent pie – awkward, sad, not everyone’s favorite, run of the mill/invisble to cool people who love and appreciate other pies.

4.  Rainbow Sherbert

More like rainbow barf.  I know it’s not creative, but I honestly get a little stomach ache when I look at pictures of it.

3.  Suckers

What?!  Their flavors don’t even taste like the real deal?  Maybe that’s what grapes, oranges, lemons, and raspberries taste like in hell.  No thank you.  I’ll aim for something a little more appetizing in the afterlife.  But it’s a hot picture, right?  Right.

2.  Cotton Candy

Makes my teeth too sad.  Plus, it tastes like bratty kids and sexually active teens… at the same time.

1.  Shaved Ice

THE WORST.  Firstly, for those of us who suffer with sensitive teeth, this creative dessert is literally a nightmare.  Secondly, can’t we all graduate to popsicles instead of cups of ice daggers drenched in fake flavor syrup sadness?   Yikes.  Remember suckers, the third worst dessert ever?  Well, shaved ice is just a cold version of a sucker with more hydration power.

Well, there you have it.  Please let me know if  you have an even better worst dessert I forgot to mention.  But for now, I need to cleanse my tainted chi with a chunk of fudge.     

Hearts + “Corn syrup is fine in moderation, just like everything else!” Farts 

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