$10 to whoever guesses what I had just been eating. Aren’t we cuddly little babies? Well, I tell ya folks, we’re getting to that point again! Come over and cuddle us! Bring us larger bras for our chubbin’ tats! Bring us girdles for to help us fit into holiday dresses! Leave us unattended at snack bars! Bring oversized salted nutrolls to my work (Ellen’s office can’t be the only one!). Please please us. We are stoking the flames right now. Pudge, pudge, pudge. Today, while waiting for my toast, I ate ice cream. ‘Cause I was bored. Whatever. Screw you guys (clearly I am crying out for support. What a bitch.).
Jello shots?
Oh, another thing I should add. Your $10 (/PRICELESS) prize will be an exclusive, unedited fatty photo. Because we’re strapped for non-priceless dollars.
Orange chocolate?
Also, I thought you might like to know that Google ads helpfully displayed advertisements for ITT Tech, Lace and Texture Thigh Highs, and Sensodyne when I opened your email. Little did they know, my uneducated thighs were just aching for some new stockings.
and by email, I mean the email I receive from wordpress every time you grace my day with a post.