Work for Progress: JOIN THE MASON JAR PARTY

Frustrated by the stagnant American political climate in this election season?  There IS another option, friends!  Join the MASON JAR PARTY and work together for peace, perfect snack storage, waste elimination, and a brighter tomorrow through the omniscient vessel of glory!

Yeah, yeah, ok.  So it was my weak attempt at a socialist-y plug for Mason Jars, but I needed a hook to get you listen to me wax poetic (once again) about a major player in the simpler life: THE MASON JAR!  ARE YOU DEMOLISHING EVERYTHING AROUND YOU IN A RAGE OF EXCITEMENT!?!  I hope so, my friend, I hope so.

Once, from afar, I saw a man eating a healthy snack out of a Mason Jar, and I thought I was in love… but that’s a story for a rainy, romantic day (though that’s pretty much the whole story in that one sentence).  Moving on…

Love of the Mason Jar runs deep in my blood.  From my great-grandmother who preserved the best of the summer’s harvest in jars for use throughout the cold, Northern Minnesota winter, to my own mother who advocates using the Mason Jar to store any damn thing from paint to rocks, I have been forever enamored with its vast utility.  

Just a few things you can store in Mason Jars:

  • bulk grains from the coop- do your part to eliminate wasteful packaging!
  • veggie stick snacks
  • smoothies
  • paperclips 
  • homemade hummus
  • fireflies and a cute little toothpick palace/hut you spent restless hours making for them
  • home-brewed kombucha–I’m taking a class on this… get ready for some scoby sobs from me later
  • toenail collection
  • plastic toy collection
  • celebrity hair clippings collection
  • collections of things in general
  • ice tea
  • candy embedded with razor blades
  • buttons
  • brownie sand art
  • dumb mementos, flowers, lights and other adorable craps for your adorable, stupid wedding
  • a strong mint julep for me to drink at your wedding- I won’t* get surly, don’t worry
  • friends that you’ve accidentally shrunk to the size of ants after you were granted one wish from a genie you didn’t take seriously and then Oh FUCK your friends are now really tiny and you’ve run out of wishes and oh, molly! how are you going to get out of this one…!?!
  • healthy snacks to eat in public places to make healthy-men-loving women fall in love with you from afar- wearing vintage Levi’s, Warby Parker’s, and a woolen plaid jacket wouldn’t hurt either.  You could also be chopping wood or nurturing some baby ducks.  Just a couple of loose suggestions.  Using our blog to design my ideal man again.  What else is new?
  • preserves- duh

IN JAR SOLIDARITY,

Comradette Molly

*probably might

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3 thoughts on “Work for Progress: JOIN THE MASON JAR PARTY

  1. Omg, what a coincidence. I was just going to post a note to Mitch G. that he needs to put all that homemade salad dressing in Mason jars. Tell your people that the antique blue ones are especially nice. God, I love them so much! Tell them that there is no finer vessel for a bunch of wild flowers picked from a ditch. This man you speak of– he should be observed giving his Golden Retriever a drink of water from a Mason jar while they are out for a stroll. The dog should also be wearing some kind of red and black wool vest. PS There is nothing wrong with a Ball jar either, just remember not to put anybody’s balls in there, even though it sounds like you should.

  2. Recent Real Simple issue showed a clever use for yor beloved Mason…build a salad from the bottom up. Dressing on the bottom, veggies then lettuce. No soggy greens! Invert and enjoy!

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