Last night, in the spirit of All Hallow’s Eve, Roombabe and I decided to Netflix the crap out of The Shrine, a scary spirit-filled and gory-laced film set in picturesque Poland. Horror films are not my jam. In fact, I avoid them whenever possible. The last time I watched a scary movie from start to finish was more than four years ago. Why? Because real life is scary enough, and I don’t feel the need to electively inject more fear into it. Now that’s what I call a 26-year-old wisdom bomb!
Spurred by various friends regaling me with horror movie excerpts and tales of fright, I pulled up my big girl underpants (?) and grabbed my closest girlfriend to suffer along with me. By the end of The Shrine, I was emotionally and physically exhausted. The amount of energy I waste away sitting in a cubicle all day is enough to tucker a grown woman out let alone holding a blanket to one’s face for forty minutes and not breathing for thirty-five of those. We survived all eight-four minutes in Polish hell. But in order to brighten our moods and erase the memories of metal spikes driven through eyes, we slapped up a couple episodes of The League. And boy did that do the trick.
Wrapped in my plush Costco housecoat I crawled into bed without a hint of Shrine on my mind. Instead of having nightmares of headless humans and statutes that barf/cry blood, I had a nightmare of being single and pregnant. Why? BECAUSE REAL LIFE IS SCARY ENOUGH. In my nightmare, I desperately avoided all contact with the mysterious casual encounter/soon-to-be-father, spent ample amounts of time crying in various positions, and grew physically sick at the thought of actually having to give birth. Despite the constant presence of family and friends within my dream, I still couldn’t stop crying. Does this mean that I’m more afraid of not having a “help partner”/husband/boyfriend/mate to help me raise a family than I am of evil spirits and being tortured? Yes, yes it does.
Last night may have ended a four year horror movie dry spell but it seems to have triggered a different kind of real life horror for me.
Hearts + Candy Farts