Take Molly “Glob-Glob” Nelson back IF YOU MUST. We all know that in order for this whole second resurrection thing to work, however, you must also accept a one Ellen “Cake Vodka Dumpster” Roth. Bring on the liquid booze desserts and do this right!
Firstly, I must confess. Forgive me, Blog, for it has been eleven months since I’ve spilled my guts on the interweb. I ask for your Bloggy forgiveness for not divulging past sins to you and the cyber community for judgment. The mental stamina it would take to rehash all of my transgressions from the past eleven months is more than I can handle at this time. Therefore, it is in my best interest to merely provide you a list of sinful highlights. Forgive me for what you’re about to read:
- Wait! C’mon, Ellen. Be better.
- It is true that these bullet points once touted most of my past year’s transgressions – some hilarious, others embarrassing, and one that was not even worth mentioning in any capacity.
- I realized, after two days of grappling with my inner sin demons, that spewing unflattering drivel all over the internet isn’t a way for me to continue to grow as a late twenty-something renaissance woman.
- Speaking of renaissance, I need a hobby.
- I was possessed by a full on “C’mon, Ellen. Be better” wave of regret and decided to censor myself in the name of self-respect. It is this mantra, along with two other important mantras that I shall discuss in detail at a later time, that prevents me from wearing silk tracksuits to work, both a blessing and a curse, and shaming myself too often.
- With all of that said, you will have to leave it up to your wild n’ crazy imagination as to what these meaningless bullet points used to say.
2G4C’s original objective was to document the fitness struggles of two pseudo-pudgy post-college gals. We were living life in the big city, trying not to fuck up too often, and wanting to svelte ourselves/take first place in the YWCA’s Meltdown challenge (in which we ended up 11th, me thinks). Two and a half years later and not much has changed. We’re still living life in the big city, still trying not to fuck up too often, and are still concerned about fitness/health in various ways and to varying degrees.
I may not shower 2G4C with as many tales of fitness triumphs as yesteryear, even though there weren’t many during those days either, but I shmomise-“promise” is too commital- to continue to document the personal victories and follies in the world according to Ellen.
Cheers to my Glob-Glob for helping me back on the blog train. You bring the lefse and sunscreen, I’ll bring the tabbouleh and back comb.
Hearts + Farts