Me and my dry, lefse-white* skin are taking our first ever tropical vacation! The trifecta of white sand beaches, sizzling sun rays, and fruity, umbrella-wearing drinks seems to appeal to everyone… but it never really did much for me. I like museums. And kitschy road side attractions. And picnics in national parks. You know, real adventure. Maybe I was always turned off by such an excursion because some people go just to get orange-tan and drink gut bomb rum drinks. Just to lay on the beach and work on their skin cancer. Yes, I’m an SPF 299-wearing, antioxidant-eating gal from the “you can STILL have a ton of fun while taking easy preventative measures!” school of thought.
But then I realized my regular taste in fashion pretty much is tropical vacation, and wouldn’t shopping for new clothes for the voyage lift your spirits from this 50-days-below-zero MN weather streak!?? So I started hunting for vintage Hawaiian dresses, ’60s Hollywood sunglasses, a thrifty and tacky ’90s “I-think-that-was-my-mom’s!” swimsuit, loud, color-saturated maxi dresses, and, of course, one giant, perfect sun hat to shield my precious, milky-white exterior. Well, PLUS, this isn’t just any tropical holiday; we’re going to be sailing/living on the high seas in a catamaran captained by Boyfriend’s father. I couldn’t say no to an adventuresome, tropical sabbatical from my ice-laden home state**! Papa S. also e-mailed to tell us there would be a full moon while we were there, and he mapped out a harbor in which we can anchor and watch the sunset, then turn around and watch the moon rise over the unobstructed ocean. What a romantic! I’ll be there, Papa S. I’ll be there in a zebra-print jumpsuit.
*Yeah, so maybe I’m deceiving you a little with Photoshop magic. I was really surprised at how radiant and healthy my skin looked in front of a pile of dirty snow!
**Though I still love its feisty weather patterns and hardy people.