Iron Filly: Preliminary A$$e$$ment$ for FITs

It was a bright and crisp Sunday morning on the corner of 28th and Lyndale. Sprits were high and hangovers were absent – a true rarity for us on a Sabbath morning for the past 9 years – as we met outside the doors of The Shed with Couch* ML, eldest offspring of and understudy to Lion Bob, for a morning of physical fitness testing and thigh burning fun.

It was prelim testing day for us Fillies in Training (FITs); with tasks at hand, Couch got down to business and made us warm up like a couple of pubey teens. At this point in the pursuit of equestriandom, we’d each been on the workout train for a handful of weeks (see visual below) and could already tell that our bodies were growing stronger as we focused on pumping iron and ridding our bodies of booze, cheese, and sins. Yee-haw, little Fillies!

cabbage patch

We ponied up and got to getting. We were full of the Spirit, aka endorphin high from wearing patterned spandex, and were amazed at how “well” we did at not dying and raged on finishing most of our preliminary assessments. For the assessments we didn’t complete within the walls of The Shed’s sanctuary of fitness, we finished on our own #HonorCodeForLife

Here’s how we fared:

Goal Molly Ellen
Run 1.5 miles Faster than 12:40 15:42 15:20
Run 600 yards Faster than 2:15 2:41 2:38
1 Minute Toe Push-ups Minimum of 35 11 13
Continual Body Squats 200 95 140
Straight Plank Minimum of 2 minutes 1:47 1:03
Back Plank Minimum of 2 minutes 1:31 :39
Left Side Plank Minimum of 1:30 minutes 1:05 :57
Right Side Plank Minimum 1:30 minutes 1:04 1:00
Hang-clean-to-press* 75% of body weight
Horizontal Pull-ups*

*In limbo.

Watch us struggle!


 Resolute Roth pushups her self to glory as Couch ML insists she achieve perfect form by touching titty to towel.


Neon Nelson collapses after a whopping 11 toe pushups; 10 more than her previous PR (that is how fit kids say ‘personal record’, or so my gym observations tell me).


Already a squat queen, Ellen taps into a mystical zen state of mind as she kills it with an astounding 140 Continual Body Squats.  Only 60 more to go, FIT!


A disciplined school girl, Molly holds still in a plank until her abs cry out for mercy.  13 more seconds to Filly-dom, little one!  Now go get on those Push-ups…

In conclusion, we FITs have some work to do. And if you’re goal-/prize-oriented mongers like us, you know we’ll get there come hell or high snow (especially if we promise ourself goodies like custom Iron Filly t-shirts, headbands, sweatbands, towels, water bottles, carrot salads and salt licks once we reach the finish line.  CUSTOM HEADBANDS?!  We’ll definitely go the distance for those).

Want in on the prize/fitness-glory wagon?  All you have to do is devote a little of your time, sweat, and pony heart to becoming an Iron Filly.  E-mail us at if you’re interested in saddling up- it’s not too late (…but it almost is, so get on it)!


Hearts + Farts / GIT IT


*I accidentally asked Maggie, via Gchat, if I could refer to her as “Couch ML” when I mean to type “Coach ML”. End of story. Couch it shall remain.


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