New Header, New You(s)!

Ellen and I have had raging lady crushes on the work of illustrator Emily Joynton for some time now– take a look, and you’ll see why. We decided to put our money where our lady boners are, and hire her to create a new header graphic for 2G4C!

We sent her an email with horrifying reference imagery: Continue reading “New Header, New You(s)!”

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(Variety Show) Birth Reflections & Video Proof It Happened

One month postpartum (of the creative endeavor kind) and we are more depressed now than ever. We’re already starved for the stage, the lights, the palpable energy, the endless amounts of Sambuca sipping turned chugging, the adoring and somewhat confused audience. CAN WE PLEASE REWIND TIME AND RELIVE THE GLORY!?

Through the power of technology WE CAN. Continue reading “(Variety Show) Birth Reflections & Video Proof It Happened”

Behind the Closet: Ellen Roth

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Ellen and I met up on a titty-freezing Saturday morning for a much-needed catch up session over extravagant unicorn milk lattes at a favorite coffee shop.  We reflected on the impending demise of our 20s and pondered breathing a puff of life back into 2G4C (as we always seems to do in the new year).  What followed was an afternoon rollick through the storied closet of one of Pillsbury Avenue’s fashion greats, Ellen V. Roth.  

I asked her, in essence, “Where the f*ck did you get such divine style?


MWS: Ellen, I know you’ve been stylish since you started dressing yourself. Who have been your style icons through the years?

EVR: Firstly, I don’t consider myself particularly stylish: I just happen to occasionally fancy dressing up in outlandish outfits as if I were on a stage. I will admit I’m incredibly  #blessed with a BABE ALERT mother who has impeccable taste and an eye for style (voted “Best Dressed” in junior high and she STILL knows what’s up). Other icons/inspirations throughout the years include, and are not limited to: In Living Color’s Fly GirlsdELiA*s,  ​Pantone​, and The Man Repeller.

MWS: What are some regrettable style phases you’ve gone through?

EVR: The Wall Shirt Era (1997 – 2002 CE) was the lowest point in my style evolution. Embarrassed of my growing chesticles and waist size, I attempted to hide everything by wearing unfortunately large shirts and (kick ass) wide leg jeans. We all know that baggy + tight = hawt and baggy + baggy = sad sack of potatoes. The Wall Shirt Era marked a prolonged, awkward, transitional period in my personal life and style.

MWS: How do you think Future Ellen would describe your current style?

EVR: Thrifted grandma at a Robyn concert in Bangkok​.

MWS: If you found out that Future Ellen wears only Cheetos-stained sweatpants and works from home, what would you want to say to her (don’t worry though, I’m sure she doesn’t).

EVR: Ellen, it’s time you put down the Cheetos and​ confront your addiction to monosodium glutamate. Shed those fingerpainted, orange-stained sweats and wrap your sad body in sequins, fur, and a tight pair of spandex leggings and PLUCK THE DAY.

MWS: Do you have any forecasts for 2016?​ ​​

EVR: Cloudy with a chance of ladyballs.


​Then I took 400 photos and felt so very alive with the magic of Ellen.

FUR1

Above: Fur vest; Jr. League Thrift Store, Sioux City. Sequined pants; gift from a girlfriend. Clogs; Sven.

Ellen’s ready for a day of volunteering at a Habitat for Humanity build in this chic ensemble of squirrel and sequin.  Who says you need to dress like a frumpy disaster while swinging a hammer?

“Oh, the humanity.”

CONVERTIBLERIDE1

Above: Dress; vintage, handmade hand-me-down from cousin’s mother. Shoes; John Fluevog.

Ellen’s ready for an afternoon of cruising in her friend’s husband’s classic convertible followed by an evening of classic eating at Annie’s Parlor in this paralyzingly short ensemble. Bring a towel to sit on, girl; you don’t want your new butt tattoo to rip off on that hot vinyl!

“Double butterscotch malt, please!”

BAPTISM

Above: Hat; study abroad trip in China. Cannibal Corpse Tee; ex-boyfriend collection. Skirt; gift from a girlfriend.

Ellen’s ready for her cousin’s baby’s baptism in this whimsical ensemble of grotesque metal band tee and festive hat ensemble. The contrast of innocence and flesh-ripping zombie imagery almost begs the pastor to perform an emergency adult baptism!

“In one spirit we were baptized by thy word. Even Ellen.”

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Above: Dress; vintage hand-me-down from cousin’s mother who may or may not have originally worn to sorority formal. Boots; hand-me-down motorcycling accessory from Mother Roth.

Ellen’s ready for a Babes in Toyland show at First Ave in this navy and black, don’t-talk-to-me ensemble.  Feisty femmes, beer, punk rock.  That’ll put hair on your lady bits!

“Check out that Handsome Gretel, but don’t talk to her or she’ll rip your face off.”

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Above: Tee; study abroad trip in Japan.  Windbreakers; Savers. Slippers; Rewind Minneapolis.

Ellen’s ready for a Saturday morning nap during our photo shoot in this neon ensemble.

“Breaking wind in windbreakers.”

*NEVERWORN1

Above: Dress; Unique Thrift.

Ellen’s ready for …? We’re not sure, as this is free-loving garment has spent years hiding in the bowels of her closet.  In any case, we think she’d make Christ the Redeemer proud.

“Peace, love, and 2 pounds of embroidery thread.”

FASHIONEXIT

Above: Coat; gift from a girlfriend who inherited from grandma. Shoes; Rewind Minneapolis.

Ellen’s ready to eat a crumbly scone at book club in this chic, grandmother-approved mohair ensemble. Don’t forget to brush those crumbs off before your date with Gorgon Heap later!

“Toodles!”

Vintage Fatty Photo #15: Underwear + Tights = Pants

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It was an amped up Friday or Saturday night back in 2005, and this is what we wore as we pranced around campus thinking we were the two hottest sophomore lollipops around.  I can’t say that it’s the worst outfit I’ve ever worn, but the tights plus underwear combo is definitely one of the least complete outfits that I’ve had the ladyballs to wear in public. What’s perhaps even more embarrassing is the fact that I still own the pink polka dot pair of Vikki’s Secret (and that I let Molly borrow them for an evening of dorm hopping and Bacardi Limon shots). Woof.

Hearts + Farts

Scandinavian Dreams of Big Hair

As much as I’ve always dreamed of having thick, luxurious, Texas-chicken-fried-steak-sized hair, it’s time to accept that my Scandinavian ancestors did not pass down the genes necessary to sculpt a 1960’s Loretta Lynn ‘do. There is only so much fluffy filler space you can add with a ratting comb before you’re not fooling anyone, not even yourself.  I doubt I even have enough hair to successfully hide a Bumpits. I suppose I’ll have to take solace in the good qualities afforded to me by my Nordic genes: girthy shoulders, steadfast work ethic, svelteness (or the potential thereof), and above-average height. All pretty ok, though I won’t be throwing my ratting comb away anytime soon.  I do think we all need inspiration to accept ourselves unconditionally… but all I really want to inspire you to do is emulate the following hairstyles of which I am unable.

1. Deap Vally

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I’m starting it off with the ULTIMATE.  These LA-based, rock’n’roll babes played at my favorite local venue, The Turf Club, and I fell in love.  With their hair.  And style.  And their music. Then I found out they met in a crochet class, and my heart melted/exploded.  At that moment, I took a very lofty vow to make a messy, 1980’s, red mullet my 5-year hair plan.

It will probably end up like this:

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…if I am lucky.

2.  Jane Fonda a la Barbarella

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Someone once told me my hair looked like Barbarella’s and, though entirely false*, I took it as the greatest compliment of my life.  Barbarella is a bizzaro, 1960’s, sci-fi, B-movie that was based on the comics of the same name.  It later became a cult classic that Ellen’s dad latched onto in his college “dime bag” days.  As he was wont to do, he mailed us a copy when we were in college, perhaps hoping it would blow our minds in the same way it had his.  Alas, we hadn’t enough dimes to make it watchable, but I will always carry with me the memories of that hair.  That’s probably the main focus of the film anyway.

See also:

Raquel Welch

Raquel Welch, obvious babe.

3. Bowie a la Space Oddity

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Remember where you were when you first heard the Space Oddity and experienced utter transcendence?  I’ve spent more time acting out the title track while riding on a vacuum cleaner space ship* than I have actually looking at the album cover.  To think, I could’ve been ogling that transcendent hair all along.

Other dudes with great hair:

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Gram Parsons.  Hello.

4. St Vincent

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Who can be charmingly adorable AND weird and scary as well at St Vincent?  Done.

GIT IT

*Just like the time a bunch of old, possibly blind people at a wedding dance gushed about my amazing moves.  That was the same wedding where Ellen and I performed an interpretive dance a la Romy and Michelle to Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Time After Time.’

**If anyone feels like scrolling back to my 2006 FB photos, be my guest.

The Marshmallow Silhouette

Let’s dive right into holiday fashion, friends.  I have too many cookies to eat to dally around writing a proper introduction.

Step one: acknowledge that maintaining your healthy lifestyle is not going to happen this or any other holiday season.  Done.  Step two: find a way to hide your holiday bulge and leave plenty of room for more in a fashion-forward, adorable, Christmasy way!

The main tenant for holiday fashion is (and always will be) no constricting waistlines.  It seems obvious, but I’ve seen plenty of ladies trying to stuff their bodies in to closely-contoured dresses that may have fit in September but are no longer relevant to their holiday butter bods.  It’s ok, girls!  You’re still pretty (with a little makeup and the right attitude)!  Look for something that is billowy and/or cheery, and otherwise resembling a jumbo-puffed marshmallow on the top, while choosing something at least 90% spandex and definitely elastic-waisted for the bottom.  Trade in your glam sensibilities for a foxier, younger, and more desirable Mrs. Claus look this season!

Some lovely friends came over last night for a holiday gathering, and followed these guidelines to a tee.  And did they look dumpy?  Did they look like someone your elderly great-aunt would call out for ‘letting themselves go’?  Good lord, no!

walliscuteasbuttonIMG_5663Sarah effortlessly pulls off the popular ‘ugly Christmas sweater’ look.  With that Santa hat, Sarah wasted no time fussing with her hair, strategically leaving more time for toffee consumption. She pairs a four-sizes-too-big sweatshirt with black leggings, and looks like an adorable floating marshmallow girl.  You can’t help but find yourself enamored and bloated with holiday cheer.  All the more reason to leave some bloat room for yourself!

maggiefashionIMG_5659Maggie, by contrast, goes for a more subdued potato sack drape in her sweater choice for the evening.  She’s ready to fit at least three more Maggies in that thing, not to mention that she looks like a sophisticated gal ready for a peppermint stick mocha and riveting fireside conversation.

Maggie and Sarah demonstrate (and champion!) two very different ways achieve the 2G4C Official Holiday Look for 2013:

jetpuffed

We hope you take this advice to heart as you chug buffalo chicken dip, crumble favorite cookies over a big bowl of ice cream, and fist meatball after meatball into your thankful mouth this Christmas.  You’re beautiful, and you’ll be good again next year, we promise.