What should you wear?

whatareyouwearing

Fashion is one of the reasons Ellen and I decided to put on the 2G4C Variety Show. We needed an excuse to thrift some new threads/unearth the most outlandish pieces from our wardrobes. Also, we want to encourage our guests (HEY! That could be you!) to let their inner fashion beasts out. Guests just miiiight have the chance to participate in a fashion show at the end of the night… 😉

What should you wear???? Please refer to this brilliant blog for the answer.

Most of all, do as Ellen’s butt tattoo says: “U be u”

2G4C 5th Anniversary Variety Show Countdown: Yard Tour

LISTEN UP, INTERNET PALS! You are exactly one month away from the best* night of your life.

On Saturday, July 9th at approximately 19:00:00 (CST), we vixens of the chinny blogosphere will take the Phoenix Theater stage to bring you a night of pure, mediocre entertainment in celebration of the 5th anniversary of this here cyber establishment.

Celebrity guest appearances? Maybe. A slip of the nip? Perhaps. Performances by our mothers? Definitely. You won’t want to miss this (unless you have something more important to do). Tickets are FREE and available here!

To get things revved up, we, of course, had a sleepover to talk shop and start making variety show plans. Let’s just say this first of four slumber party videos sheds some light on how our planning party really went…

 

*Comparative to the worst night of your life

How Not To Embarrass Yourself In The Presence Of A (Local) Celebrity

Once upon a time earlier this week, 2G4C attended a book launch event for a Local Celebrity/Role Model. With hearts aflutter we waited 45 minutes to meet LC/RM* and purchase her debut book. Not much for Celeb encounters, we didn’t quite know what to do or say. The aftermath of said interaction was caught on cellphone film.

  • Introduce yourself to Celebrity, especially if you’re at a meet and greet event, before you start spewing nonsense or ask for a photograph/autograph/polygraphy/barograph/whatever.
  • Play it cool and be yourself. If you are naturally uncool or happen to loose the shard of cool you do have at the sight of Celebrity, have something somewhat smart/witty/flattering prepared as plan B.
  • Drink alcohol prior to interaction with Celebrity if you’re feeling particularly uncool and especially awkward. Where we fumbled, in hindsight, was opting for ice cold kombuchas instead of ice cold brewskis prior to conversing. Perhaps one beer each would’ve loosened us up just enough to have a pleasant interaction. Note: this tip is only an option if you have a planned interaction; it’s best to steer clear of celebrities if you happen upon them in the wild (read up on this masterfully illustrated wikiHow if you’re hoping to meet Celebs in the wild).
  • Dab your face with blotting paper/an old receipt/napkin/your shirt/toilet paper/moar makeup so it’s free of nervous perspiration/pepperoni grease from your sad lunch. Photo opts are best with matte faces and clenched smiles.
  • Remember: Celebs are just regular people but with better hair and things to say. They probably once fell over themselves while meeting a role model too.

 

 

* LC/RM = the horribly talented, inspirational, relatable, rad, kind, funny human, Nora McInerny Purmort. Pick up a copy of her debut book, It’s Okay to Laugh: (Crying is Cool Too), and read along with 2G4C Book Club Ahoy-hoy!

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Left: Stunning Awkward Rebounder   Center: Stunning LC/RM   Right: Stunning Greasy Pizza

LaCroix: Filling the Void

LaCroix Sparkling Water.

Oh, great harbinger of our 30s.

Trusty steed, deliver us into the light of the next decade.

A decade without want, where all ills are vanquished by thine superior natural flavors and carbonation.

LaCroix, replace our desires to eat fistfuls of Funyuns, talk back to our aging parents, gulp King Size bags of Peanut M&Ms at the movies, slam sugar soda, look at screens, lick the bottom of the chip bag, hate our co-workers, spoon peanut butter directly from jar to mouth, and order a tall whiskey on the rocks when it’s getting late and it’s a work night and what are we doing here anyway.

LaCroix, assuage the ennui left by our 20s. With your guidance, we will not look with fondness upon our past transgressions. Except the funny transgressions that make good stories.

LaCroix, fill us with bursting joy as we step forth into our 30s. Also, carbonation. So we feel full/bloated and thus avoid overeating and boozing. That’s cool of you. THX

burpyourselfto30

 

PSA: Don’t Get Drunk in Your Hometown

Life in the big city isn’t easy. Break up with a boyfriend here, have your car broken into there, and I’m over it.  It’s times like those I find myself longing for the comfort of my hometown: the soothing sight of tan cookie-cutter houses, the warmth of suburban bigotry, the security of strip mall commerce, and the overwhelming reminder of my angst-burdened youth. I’ll toast to that. And another. And another. Shots all around! Oh, my god is that John? Gross. TURN UP THE MUSIC. Does thrify even Uber here? what+++ SHOTZ. came stap for doritooes?

 

 

Excessive drinking in hometown watering holes embarrasses an estimated 4.5 million Americans each year. The consequences of getting loaded in your hometown may not cost your wallet much but it will cost you your dignity and a sober Sunday morning.

Play it safe. Don’t let getting blitzed in your hometown cost you ANYTHING.

blogPSA

Tips for Avoiding a Shameful Night of Drinking in Your Hometown:

  • Visit your hometown as minimally as possible.
  • Avoid local watering holes at all costs. Stick to fast food joints, chain restaurants, and diners. Your booth is your safe haven.
  • Travel with a support squad of nerds who are only interested in playing Chinese checkers while watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory.
  • If you run into an acquaintance from high school, immediately remove yourself from the situation. DO NOT attempt to engage them in any way. DO NOT confront them about the time they equated your appearance to “the fat Mexican girl on Barney.”
  • Just say NO THANK YOU to shots.