How Not To Embarrass Yourself In The Presence Of A (Local) Celebrity

Once upon a time earlier this week, 2G4C attended a book launch event for a Local Celebrity/Role Model. With hearts aflutter we waited 45 minutes to meet LC/RM* and purchase her debut book. Not much for Celeb encounters, we didn’t quite know what to do or say. The aftermath of said interaction was caught on cellphone film.

  • Introduce yourself to Celebrity, especially if you’re at a meet and greet event, before you start spewing nonsense or ask for a photograph/autograph/polygraphy/barograph/whatever.
  • Play it cool and be yourself. If you are naturally uncool or happen to loose the shard of cool you do have at the sight of Celebrity, have something somewhat smart/witty/flattering prepared as plan B.
  • Drink alcohol prior to interaction with Celebrity if you’re feeling particularly uncool and especially awkward. Where we fumbled, in hindsight, was opting for ice cold kombuchas instead of ice cold brewskis prior to conversing. Perhaps one beer each would’ve loosened us up just enough to have a pleasant interaction. Note: this tip is only an option if you have a planned interaction; it’s best to steer clear of celebrities if you happen upon them in the wild (read up on this masterfully illustrated wikiHow if you’re hoping to meet Celebs in the wild).
  • Dab your face with blotting paper/an old receipt/napkin/your shirt/toilet paper/moar makeup so it’s free of nervous perspiration/pepperoni grease from your sad lunch. Photo opts are best with matte faces and clenched smiles.
  • Remember: Celebs are just regular people but with better hair and things to say. They probably once fell over themselves while meeting a role model too.

 

 

* LC/RM = the horribly talented, inspirational, relatable, rad, kind, funny human, Nora McInerny Purmort. Pick up a copy of her debut book, It’s Okay to Laugh: (Crying is Cool Too), and read along with 2G4C Book Club Ahoy-hoy!

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Left: Stunning Awkward Rebounder   Center: Stunning LC/RM   Right: Stunning Greasy Pizza
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We’re All Odd. Own It.

Molly and I met during our oddest years: college. We embraced it, encouraged it, and amplified it. Now I yearn for it.

Cheers to remembering that growing older does not correlate with growing duller. May this snapshot of Molly’s interpretive performance of “Space Oddity” in 2006 remind us all to stay strange and embrace the odd #thankyoudavidbowie

Hearts + Ashes to Ashes Farts

Space Oddity

Ellen’s Top 4 Celebrity Burnout Boyfriends

Inspired by the once rumored relationship between Lana Del Ray and Axl Rose (jealous!), I had to ask myself, “Well, how do I get me one of those.  Wait, who are my ‘those?’”

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4.  Blaine John Chaney (a.k.a. Beej)

As a former guitarist and vocalist for one of Minnesota’s all-time best/hottest bands, Beej Chaney is a hotmess.  Hot circa 1980 and a mess since always.  Last year, with parents in tow, I witnessed and jammed out to a Suburbs reunion show, complete with an awesomely awkward Beej appearance, at First Avenue.  Beej, however, could barely keep himself standing up.  Drug cocktail coma?  Totally tits rock ‘n’ roll.

 

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3.  Devon Sawa

I’ve never been one for blond beauties, but who could resist Devon Sawa circa 1996?  Answer: no one.  Well, except for me.  My tween/naive boner belonged to J.T.T. (who I think would pair quite nicely with “heterosexual” Macaulay Culkin).  As a grown woman, however, it’s now difficult for me to resist that bloated, D-list look about a man.

 

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2.  Jeremy London

  1. VH1 Celebrity Rehab
  2. Claimed kidnapping
  3. Mallrats

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1.  Edward Furlong

Me-OW!

 

Why four and not five?  Because.  I’m le tired and already have a lot of work ahead of me if I’m going to start chipping away on these four.

 

Here’s to hoping for a new +1 in the near future!